Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Is it Christmas?

Looks like once again it has been awhile since I posted. Oh well, time flies when you have ancer. You better believe it ask anyone who has it. Since our last post, Philip put up our Christmas tree, on halloween I might add. It just happened some friends from church dropped by while he was at it. And the hubby of the couple is an absolute grinch about Christmas. He would wait til Christmas day to put up his tree if his family would let him. He just sat there, looking stunned, with me laughing so hard I was falling off the couch, His wife saying, "SEE. I TOLD YA! People actually put up trees! It was a visit I thoroughly enjoyed.
Still doing chemo weekly. Today is a chemo day, tomorrow I have CT scans to see if the chemo is working. If the tumors have grown, we try a new drug. If they haven't we stay with the same treatment. They have grown. The ones under my arm arm at least 10 times the size they were in August when I started to this oncologist. It has gone from a pea sized lump in my armpit to a large mass with about 8 individual tumors trying to break through my skin. Sorry if that is TMI. I asked my oncologist how many treatments to which he replied til they don't work anymore. Telling it like it is. Some days are diamonds and some days are stone. I wonder if I have had my last Thanksgiving. Did I just watch Rudolph for the last time? Yes, I made my 14 and 20 year old sons watch it with me. Will this be my last Christmas. I think so. I know I very possibly could be wrong and that's what I hold on to.
Sometimes, there just aren't enough rocks. That would be a line from Forrest Gump when Jenny is throwing rocks at her old house.